It’s 3:30am….WHY is it 3:30am? Jack said he wants an early start, it’s gonna take a few hours to get to the Soux site, and then we have to scout it out, read up on the data there for us, and descide where to set up our gear, then we have to come back into town to check out the brothel house after the mayor has had time to get to his office and get the paperwork ready for us sign away our right to sue him if the thing collapses on our heads. Yippie. Ah well, I should get alot of great shots today either way, the area around the Soux ruins is virtually untouched, not to mention getting to go into the ruins themselves and get up close pics of an actualy archeological dig site. It’s gonna be fun…after it STOPS being 3:30a…..what was that?
I feel the bus lurch and the driver start swearing, something about people in the road…?
Looks like the driver’s about to go all mad black woman on them. Wasting his time. Prolly just a bunch of college kids on spring break, bars closed about 30 minutes ago, they’ll just be pissed off, stumble away, and not remember almost dieing in a bus wreck by 1:00pm- WHAT THE FREAKING EL?!
I feel the bus turning under my feet. I realise we’re tipping over. Some suite and tie in the back is having a panick attack screaming “They found me!”and “We’re all gonna die” Sounds a little melodramatic to me, wait…that’s Jack screaming we’re gonna die. Fearless leader all right. As the bus is going over I grab my stuff, the equipment is too expensie to let get knocked around, and the tool box’s weigh too much for me to allow them to become projectiles. We come to more or less of a safe landing and theres a brief moment of silence, then a window shatters, the suite is missing and the bus driver gets rippped though the widshield. Jack’s ripping the emergenc door off of it’s hinges, Angel’s behind him. Some creepy guy with a duffel bag is slinking TOWARDS the front of the buss Huh? Perv. Prolly has some kind of blood and gore fetish. I’m with Jack,it’s time to go. Though I doubt we’re all going to die. Some guy in leather jacket just through a knife. Now I’m in a hurry to leave. What the hell is this? Rambo 12: Urban Jungle? Get me the hell out of this lunatic truck. I get out of the bus and look around.Oh HELL NO! Those are NOT zombies. That is some leperous chain gan, prolly an STD from their gang-bangs. It CAN’T be zombies, what’s that 6* of them at the front of the bus, then I going *BACK. As I turn an start running Jack is duct taping th e door shut behind us, that’s gonna suck for knife tosser and duffel perv. Off I go down the street, I think Angel was headed to the other side, but right now we need to ge away we can re-group at a safe distance. Then I see the other 4 coming at me from behind the bus. I duck down a side ally and run for my life. One of them notices. Damn, not good, disease ridden chain gangers, and Im stuck hauling the gear. Maybe if I can round the corner out of the ally I can lose him, or find somewhere to hide. Oh god, he’s caatching up. Maybe we ARE gonna die. Run FASTER! I come around the other side of the ally and turn to my right headed back up the street away fromt he bus, The zombie chain-banger is feet behind me, not gonna hide, that’s for sure. So I keep running, I run the length of the store backs and see another ally to my right, going back to the road where the bus is. Ah, screw this. Maybe Jack or Angel is over there running, we HAVE to be better off together at this point, Im heading back to th group.
Down the ally I go, I feel wind on my neck periodically and the thing is trying to grab me from behind NO! No. HELL NO! I’m getting gang-raped by some messed up, disease idden, chain gang zombie horde! The open street is in sight, all I have to is get in the open and try to out maneuver him. As I reach the end of the all Rambo flies down the street past the allyway. Good, at least someone is getting away- HOLY CRAP! 3 of those nasties just raced past behind Leatherrambo. Bad news for him, less chasing me except… It dawns on me that if I keep running I’m goign to plow into said group of 3 zombies, and still have the one that’s chasing me. Screw that, I’m goona try to do something unexpected. This worked in a movie once. Let’s pray and hope it works for me “Specticals, Testicals, Wallet, Watch” signing the catholic crossing ritual I stop, plant my foot firmly one step aheado f me, twist and shove with everythign I’ve got into the rancid, squishy monter behind me trying to knock him out of my way so i can go back the way I came.
OW! It didn’t budge, it does look surprised though, at least its standing their staring at me with it’s head cocked instead of clawing at me. That probably won’t last long. Hey the other group are past now! Unit, ABOUT FACE! I spin on my toeas again and dash out into the open street, hang a right and head Back to the bus, hoping for police, fire, amulance, something, anything. Now that I’ running again Mr. Squishy seems to remember what he’s supposed to do again and is behind me, and you know; the feel of chains snapping against you cloths as they mis ur skin my less than inches really stings, does wonders for inspiration too. If I’d had this kind of inspiration back in highschool i might have been a track star instead of a computer geek. Nearing the bus I don’t see duffel perv, I don’t see Jack, I don’t see butt-nasties, I don’t see Angel, I’m screwed.
a cannon erupts inside the bus. Wind on my face, heat traveling down my legs, squelching sounds behind me as the THING gets hit. Oh my god, Oh my God! OH My God! OHMYGODWE’REALLGONNADIE! I wet myself. Something just shot a GUN in MY direction. SOMEONE Just fired at ME. Someone almost hit me witha gun. SOMEONE SHOT THAT THING AND IT DIDN’T EVEN FLINCH! I duck around to the street side of the bus, duck around a tire as I’m running along the underpinning towards the front of the bus, butt-nasty still all up on my rear. I round the front of the bus, dash past the windshield and hear a second cannon explosion, they shot at me AGAIN! More squelching as the Mr. Boogernasty takes his second hit of the night, there a muffled exclimation inside the bus I don’t feel the chain giving me sex spankings anymore, but now there’s 2 more of those things running back up the road from behind the bus. I don’t know what the El is behind and there’s two more coming up ahead of me, there’s an alarm from somewhere downt he street, gues someone decided to alert the cops, damn slow reaction time, it’s been what 2 mintues? WHERE ARE YOU PEOPLE! I’m running out of places to run. Looking around I see that i’m standing beside the bus roof facing a department store window from, taking a deep breath I draw back with the hand carrying my aluminum case containing my tool kits and sling it through the glass storefront, shattering it and setting off the second alarm. Not waiting to see what’s else is happening I jump through the, now open, window and dash down the center isle. Behind me I hear crunching glass and glance back to see a zombie butt-nasty leap in behind me. Give me a BREAK! Another one? What the El am I? I can’t keep this up much longer. I’ve already got frigid-hot knives stabbing my lungs and a cramp in my side and legs. Okay, can’t keep running, have to end this, but not here. Wait, I’m in the mens denim department, might as well cret some obsticles and try to find some cover to defend myself. I yank a clothing rack over on it’s side to trip the thing up, I’m not sure if it noticed much or not, but I have a bit more brathing room as I duck into the back storeroom. There’s a big bay door that down and several shelves. I don’t have time to ope the door so I duck behind a shelf and draw my pistol. Jack always laughed at me for carrying a weopon, better to have a weapon than to run out of the back of a bus screaming we’re gonna die like a little girl. Guess I should laugh now. Might scare that thing, can’t breath enough to laugh, oh well. Just steady your hands on the shelf and watch that door.
tic tic TIC TICK
Nasty-butt isn’t coming in. (I’m not going back out). So I go and unlock the bay door, hope out into the foggy night. I just now realise that it’s been foggy the whole friggin time, I just haven’thad time to notice it, foggy and….perfumed? What is that? Rosewater? Lavender? Sage? No…it’s…JASMINE! Jasmine? Is that a native flower? Is it late enough inthe spring for flowers? That’s not right? I need to ge back to J&A. I slowly and cautiosly walk back around the side of the building, up an ally and back to the road. Coming around and up on the bus, I see someone laying on the ground behind the bus, diesel fuel is ouring on their back out of the tank, looks like Jack but not positive yet; and there’s a Mr. Butt-nasty fighting with Leatherrambo next to a black crown vic. Rambo drives a luxery car these days? Don’t get me wrong the man’s earned it, but damn getting soft in his old age. I can’t get to Jack throught he fighting, so i pull out my camera and do the only thing I can think of at the moment, take pictures of the evil zombie chain gang butt-nasty. I’m getting some awsome shots, clearly exposed brain, maggots in the open flesh sores, bullet holes still oozing a gelatinous looking blood. This stuff i gonna be great on the website, as soon as we figure out what’s going on. Duffel-per is coming up from the front of the bus with a gun, I hear a familiar soundin cannon blast and realise he was the guy trying to save my rear from inside the bus earlier. He has bite marks and bruises. Between the two of them the last Butt-nasty collapses, I run over for some close up shots, and go arond to get the other corpses. Their gone, so is business suites briefcase. That makes me very sad for some reason. I wanted to know what he had that was so important he though zombies were out to get him. I puzzle of the abscence of zombie corpses for a second then realise the Jasmine smell is fading and the fog is clearing, Angel is pulling Jack out of the firerock-water nd trying to dry him off. Duffel-perv is discussing his oddly square bag wit Leatherrambo and we seem to be agreeing that we all NEED whatever isin that briefcase and that we should leave here. Leatherrambo is offering to ake us to his garage and let us catch out breath. NOt sure if it’s a good idea, but I can’t think of anything else to do right now, and my legs are begingin to shake. Not sure how much longer I’m gonna stay on my feet as I realise how much i’ve run and how tird and sore I’m getting. So into the crown vic we go, Rambo doesn’t use a key to start his car, that would bother me if I was less exhausted….Worry bout it after the zombie bit is explained, order of operations here. Just like math, Priority first, parenthasies, then multiplication and division BEFORE we worry about th symple stuff like adding and subtracting. I need a nap.
Calvin’s Journal- April 12, 2009